practice wins

 - I did 35 crossovers (haha, one day i'll be like king of the crossovers)
 - I derby stopped on both toe stops instead of one.  I've always hated going on my toe stops and when I came back Skinner taught me how to derby stop, but I could only bring myself to go on one.  Today I was told to go on two and I just did it.
 - I jumped with both feet sideways over a cone.  hate cones.  They're stupid.
 - My backwards skating is getting faster.
 - My transitions are better than last practice.
 - I dripped a lot on the floor.

One of those is not a win.

Everything else makes me feel good.  Little positive steps towards improvement.

Tomorrow I will make a healthy protein cheesecake as reward.

I must be nicer to myself

I have been really rubbish and hard on myself.  So, I'm starting this new thing!  After practice i'm gonna write at LEAST one thing that I can say I did good.  These are the important things.  Fuck everything else.

I did like 25 crossovers (I'm scared of them, don't ask)
I did good work in a wall and slowed down a jammer.

That wasn't too bad...

motivation

I've not had much of a problem with motivating myself to go to the gym, but today I just could.not.be.bothered.  I found myself going "i'm too tired" "I haven't ate enough" "i'll go tomorrow" etc.  But tomorrow what if I was still "tired" or had some other excuse?

NO!  No waiting till tomorrow!  No stupid excuses!

The reason why I'm overweight and unfit is because of excuses.  Why would I start going back down that way?  I've spent a lot of my life letting my mood affect my behaviour, but now I want my behaviour to change my mood.

I went to the gym and I didn't drop dead from exhaustion! SHOCK!

Stop making excuses and do things.

legchievements

Things have been a little difficult recently.  For various reasons my leg has been a big dick and this has resulted in me being too hard on myself.  This makes an unhappy Connie!  LET'S CHANGE IT!

I'm really far away from where I need to be, I know this.  I'm too heavy, i'm not fit enough, I have skate skills to work on, I have fears to overcome..blah blah.  BUT what have I accomplished?

I achieved full mobility.
I can squat like a fucking boss.
I can do derby stops now and couldn't before.
I can plank for longer.
I am fitter, faster, stronger and lighter than I have been before.

I will be nicer to myself. 

I believe this break has done me good and will do me good, and I say God bless it!